By Viktor Maksimowicz
TORONTO, ON—In a move widely-praised by government officials and the public alike, the Canadian government has unveiled a ground-breaking plan to tackle the epidemic of student unemployment in the wake of the COVID-19 outbreak—raising the deposit price on Coors Lite cans to 20 cents.
“We knew we had to do something when we saw someone had tagged the prime minister in an online job advertisement. This epidemic needs to be tackled head on with the compassion and care that we reserve for our nation’s students – the future of this country,” says Employment Minister Jacqueline Richardson.
“This epidemic needs to be tackled head on with the compassion and care that we reserve for our nation’s students…”
“As so many of our problems require us to do, we looked back at our own history for possible answers,” continues Richardson, speaking to the press early Thursday morning.
The post that the Prime Minister received, which the
government released on their website earlier this morning.
“That’s when inspiration struck us. We considered the most financially stable and well-respected professions in our country, and we realized they all had something in common: some of the people in these professions drink Coors Lite!” says Richardson.
Copyright© 2020 by Viktor Maksimowicz
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